The Distance Between Us

Who came up with the term “social distancing”? Did they know the weight of it? Did they know the burden it would bear? Did they know what we would lose? Did it far outweigh what we gained?

                Our loss is tangible. What’s missing? The touch of a mother’s hand across her child’s cheek. The beauty of a smile now hidden underneath. A handshake when meeting someone for the first time. A hug between two well met friends. The embrace of a loved one. A greeting hello. The silence is deafening. People don’t talk to each other now. They avoid eye contact as if we could catch the virus with our eyes. Fear runs rampant in the streets. Toilet paper flies off the shelves and it leaves us wondering how did we get here and when are we going to get back what we lost? We can’t. Life will never be the same. I don’t know what will be different but it will never be the same. I will never be the same. Who I am today is not who I was two months ago when this all started. I thought the virus was something far away from me and before I knew it my workplace was closed to the public. Before I knew it masks had to be worn everywhere you went and I didn’t even know what COVID19 was. Now everything I do is marred by antibacterial soap, hand sanitizer, hand washing, masks everything that is supposed to keep me safe is locking people out of my life. Fear runs rampant but there’s also the careful balance of love and good deeds. Not only have we lost there are things we’ve gained. Kindness is also running rampant. People are meeting in cars in the parking lots of hospitals praying for the staff. People are doing car dance parties to provide some entertainment in the monotony of staying inside. Children are making pizzas and delivering them for first responders. Loved ones and teachers of high school graduates are bringing signs of congratulations and staying outside encouraging their grads. (Insert here) the acts of kindness you’ve witnessed. There’s the careful balance of the good and the bad.

It’s given me an appreciation for so much in my life. One thing I am most grateful for is my relationship with God. He loves me so much and he’s protecting me from the virus. I bet you’re wondering where is God in all this? Consider the following scripture.

 

And he spake a parable unto them, Can the blind lead the blind? Shall they not both fall into the ditch? Luke 6:39

Study note in my bible, This parable is a warning about following the wrong person. Spiritually blind leaders mislead disciples (Holman KJV Study Bible 2012).

God is the one leading us but so often we turn to others and follow their ways. Are we the blind during this virus? I think we are blind to what God is trying to do in us during this time. He’s working so many things out of my heart. I have a new found appreciation for my employer and my staff. I appreciate where I’m at in my walk with God. I have battled anxiety for years and I’m at the finish line of anxiety; I can see the end of it. It used to be a mountain in front of me and now it’s a pebble in my shoe, something so small I can kick it out of the way as I run the race. I’m working in a different department during this time helping with clerical work. It has me doing filing mostly and it is pretty easy. I feel like it’s a nice break from being in charge because I’m the boss where I normally work. However, I love what I do. I feel it is a calling on my life and I can’t wait to get back to being in charge again because God called me to be a leader. But during this time I’m taking a step back and listening more than I speak. I want to see what can I hear when I let go of the distraction of my ego.

So what’s life after COVID19 going to look like? We will never get back to life the way it was but do we really want to? There are plenty of things I miss but people no longer have the distractions of life weighing them down. People are probably communicating more now than they ever have with all the extra time at home. I don’t know what post COVID19 life looks like. I don’t know how long it’s going to take but I pray that I don’t forget the lessons I’ve learned. I never want to take life for granted ever again.

When this is all over I’m going to hug everyone I know and I’m gonna hold on a little bit longer because I want them to feel the love I have for them. I can’t wait to get back to church and see how my church family is doing. I can’t wait to go to the movies and get some movie popcorn.

What about you dear reader? What do you miss most? What’s the first thing you’re going to do once it’s all over? What have you learned during this time? Please share your thoughts with me.

Genuinely Yours,

Amy Z

The Sword is Mightier than the Pen

Hello dear readers I’m back. It’s been over a year since I posted a blog. I didn’t have internet at my new place and I’ve been on hiatus. So a lot has changed since I’ve written last. For one I moved out of my mom’s place and have my own apartment. I’ve been here since April of 2019 and I absolutely love being out on my own. It’s a great feeling to be able to take ownership and be free to make your own choices. Another thing that has changed is, since the COVID-19 virus, I’ve been redeployed to work at a different department until my place of business opens again. I just started this week and I’m impressed already. This group of people are amazing and very welcoming and helpful. We had a staff meeting and they prayed at the end so I’m surrounded by believers, which it’s so cool that I get to talk about God at work.               

So I’d like to explore a reoccurring issue in my life and it has to do with pens. Pens you might be thinking. What in the world could be an issue involving pens? Well I absolutely love Uniball Signo pens. I’m a writer and I journal a lot so I love having a good pen and these pens are great except for one thing they lose their luster toward the end of their life span. So what I do is I’ll use the pen until it starts to fade and I’ll crack out a new one and use that one before the previous pen has been all used up. Do I throw the previous pen away? No because what if I need a pen and they’re all I have left? So the reoccurring issue is the issue with pens is a manifestation of an inward problem. A heart issue if you will. I have a hard time finishing what I start. I don’t know the root of why I have this problem. I’m hoping to be like an explorer who travels far away and discovers something new at the end of the journey. That’s what I’m hoping this blog will do. My issue won’t go away overnight, which is just like most of our issues. We think that because we want to change that the change will come right away but it doesn’t work like that. It took awhile for the frame of mind to become a habit so it will take some time for it to go away. However, as long as you take a step forward when you can, it will begin to lead you further and further away from your old habit until finally that habit is gone and replaced by a new healthier habit.

This is just like a walk with Christ. God refines and renews us every day to look more like Christ. To have the mind of Christ. To walk in the light of Christ and think more and more like Christ. When we first become a Christian we come with baggage. Sometimes we come with old hurts, unforgiveness, bitterness, pain and sorrow. God has to work these things out of us because it is at odds with the mind of Christ. It is at odds with the Holy Spirit which is within us. Christ is all about love and he wants us to let go of the baggage and takes his hand. So the following is what scripture tells us about becoming a new creation.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17

What the scripture doesn’t tell us is that it’s a process. It will happen over time so be patient with yourself. Try your best every day and you will get there day by day. A life with Christ gives us hope. Since we have Christ we have a hope that all the baggage will eventually go away and we will be that new creation. Don’t give up. Keep moving forward. You’re gonna get there.

So now onto the title of this post. The sword is mightier than the pen. What follows is scripture that speaks of the word of God.

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

God’s word is like a sword, it pierces our hearts and shows us what we need to change in our live. He does so lovingly because he wants us to be more like Jesus. In order to have a Christ like mind we have to stay in the word of God and continue to seek his face. Is there something in your life that needs changing? Can you look to your Lord and Savior and ask him to change you from the inside out? I encourage you to pray about it. Believe me I will be praying about why I have a hard time finishing what I start. I know one thing that I can start doing to take a step in the right direction and that’s finish using up the ink in one of these pens. I have at least 10 that still have ink. So that’s my small step that will lead to big results.

How about you. What’s your small step? Share it with me and I will pray for you.

God’s word is mightier than any issue we face. For me it’s not finishing what I start for you it might be unforgiveness. Is there someone you need to forgive? I encourage you to do so. One thing this virus is showing me is that we don’t have as much time as we think we do. You don’t know when it will be too late to reconcile with that loved one. I encourage you to call them up and say I’m sorry, I held you hostage in my mind by not forgiving you. I forgive you. It’s not as hard as you think it is. Pray to God to help you forgive and he will be right there as you forgive that person.  

Dear readers Thanks for reading this 2020 blog. I look forward to what the Lord will do for us in the months to come.

Genuinely Yours,

Amy Z

Raise Up

From my devotional, The One Year Devotional, by Larry Stockstill: Often we cry to God for relief from the enemy, but God is waiting for us to arise and get involved in the spiritual warfare.

                God has always helped me in the situation. So often I’ve asked for peace in the anxiety before the situation, but the Lord didn’t bring peace until I was in the situation. For instance, I’m asking for help with something at work. God cannot help me if I don’t do it. He will help me when I do it. Just like anything at work. He will help me when the situation comes.

                It’s just interesting to think God is waiting on me to take action and then he will rise up. In some things I need only to stand still just like the Israelites. Sometimes they needed only to stand still and God fought for them, sometimes he told them to march around a wall. Sometimes he sends the praise music in front of the army.

What’s God asking you to do today?

Is it to stand still while he fights your battles?

Is it to raise what God has given you up to part the Red Sea? Moses had to raise his staff to part the Red Sea.

Is it to march around the wall of your Jericho?

Is it to seek his face?

Pray about it and God will reveal it to you.

And Deborah said unto Barak, Up; for this is the day in which the Lord hath delivered Sisera into thine hand: Is not the Lord gone out before thee? So Barak went down from mount Tabor and ten thousand men after him. Judges 4:14

God’s people took action.

What do you need to take action on today?

What item/tool/characteristic has God given you that you need to raise up to part the waters?

What would you part the waters with?

What do you need to do Amy?

I need to let go of laziness and procrastination and confidence is the characteristic I need to raise up.

Raise up dear readers.

Get up.

Take action.

Genuinely Yours,

Amy Z

Refining FIre

I’m under God’s refining fire right now. I feel a shifting in my way of thinking. I feel new freedom coming my way but boy is it uncomfortable. Sometimes it hurts a little. I know that God is with me and he’s bringing a new thing in my life. I prayed to God for me to be different. I prayed for a transformed and renewed mind. I prayed, Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me (Psalm 51:10)

I no longer want to live my life the way I’ve been living. Full of anxiety and fear that just hits me right when I wake up some mornings. I don’t always feel that way but I just want to be free from these feelings. I want to trust God more. I want to lean on him. His word says when I am weak then he is strong. I want God to be the strength of my life. I just don’t quite know how to get there. I know though all these little things that are testing me are a refining fire. I’ll come out a brighter light for Christ than I was before.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. James 1:2-4

Behold I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction. Isaiah 48:10 (ESV)

How about you dear readers?

Are you under God’s refining fire?

Share with me.

You are not alone, nor is it a surprise that we are being tested.

Genuinely Yours,

Amy Z

Letter To Myself

           Dear reader,

           I believe the Lord spoke this word to me through my writing. I believe it can bless you like it blesses me. Just insert your name where my name is and you too can hear from the Lord. Is there an area of your life that you worry over all the time? This may help you too.

          Amy there is no need to worry. You are capable of doing each task I’ve put before you. I will not give you a task that I have not already equipped you to do. I will not put you in a situation that you can’t handle. No one at work is trying to hurt you. You are safe there. You are in charge there and I’m the one who put you in charge. It is no accident that you are at your job. It is for the saving of many lives. It has been for the saving of many lives already. You’ve touched the lives of many. You’re going to continue to touch the lives of many. You touch the lives of many different groups, different ages, different cultures. You make a difference in the lives of many. You are a blessing. Stop thinking there’s something wrong with you and start living a set free life. You are no longer in bondage. You are set free. I have set you free there is no situation that I have not already approved beforehand because I know how you will handle yourself. You are loved. It’s ok Amy. You are ok. There’s no one trying to hurt you.  You are free! Amy just be your beautiful self. You have a beautiful heart and are a beautiful person. You’ve got the right heart for every situation you will face. God is giving you challenges a little at a time maturing you slowly. It’s ok, you’re ok. 

Life is good, you have a good life. 

Enjoy life.

Genuinely Yours,

Amy Z

Blood, Sweat and Tears

Dear readers, I’ve had quite the week my dears. I want to share this strong word with you. It blesses me each time I read it and I’ve read it a lot. I want to internalize this word. I want to be able to think of it whenever I need it most. I feel I need this reminder daily. Every day I need to know that I’m making a difference in this world. That who I am makes a difference in people’s lives, and in my own life as well.

My dear sweet elementary school friend Joy, came back into my life a couple years ago. I happened to see her at the place where she works. We talked for a bit and then I had to get going and she had to get back to work. I didn’t even think to get her phone number. It was raining that day. When I got to my car I prayed, “Lord please help me connect with Joy again and get her number.” I started driving away and who walks in front of my car but Joy in the rain, no umbrella, and a frown on her face. I rolled down my window and said, “Hey you want a ride.” She got in my car and we talked for a good hour and I got her phone number. So when I saw Joy this week, on my birthday what a treat, I gave her a great big hug goodbye. She said to me, “you know that day in the rain I felt like it was all falling down on me you brought him (Jesus) back into my life that day.” I almost cried when she said that to me. This is what I wrote in my journal after that. I remember that day, I hadn’t gotten Joy’s number and I prayed to God for me to connect with Joy again and she was walking right in front of my car. Answered prayer. Our hearts were open to him and each other that day.

It’s days like this that make the struggle worth it. It makes pushing through even more worthwhile. I won’t lie. It’s tough. But victories are hard things. They are hard because they are worth it. Some things can only be bought with blood, sweat and tears.

They are worth it.

I promise you.

Because once it is finished the result is priceless.

Genuinely Yours,

Amy Z.

Do you want to show up or be a no show?

Dear reader, I’m coming to you from a place of just being human. Some days I don’t think I can make it, but I make it because of Christ. Sometimes I’m anxious about going to work but I go anyway. Sometimes I don’t want to get out of bed. I get out of bed anyway. There’s been something ingrained in me from a very young age to now. Even when I was bullied I showed up for school anyway. Even when I knew it was going to be hard I went anyway. I showed up for school. I showed up for job interviews. I showed up to drive on the freeway. Again and again I kept moving forward because I fully believe it is better to show up than be a no show. I show up for my life each day even when the days are hard. I would rather show up then be a no show. Jesus helps me show up for my life every day. I can’t make it on my own.

I so want to be free from all the worry that cycles through my mind every day. Some days it doesn’t stop. Some days I just want to give in to it but Jesus won’t let me. A knowledge of Christ won’t let me give up because I am an overcomer because Jesus lives in me and he’s an overcomer. I just want to say if you’ve been a no show in your life it’s never too late to start showing up. Don’t let the enemy win. Don’t let your discouragement win. Keep getting up. Keep moving forward. I promise you Jesus will not leave you. From experience I can say it was never as bad as I thought it was, once I started moving forward. I had created a mountain in my mind. A boulder of fear was an obstacle in my path. Once I started moving forward I saw the fear was merely a pebble in my shoe. Something I could step on and brush aside and move past. I promise you, you can move past what’s holding you back. It may look like it’s blocking your path but just keep on the paths of righteousness. That blockage has to leave in the name of Jesus.

I know that I am set free and one day I can just brush the worry aside. I have been able to do that it just creeps back up every now and then. It’s an old habit that I no longer want to give ear to. I no longer want to give the worry a foothold in my soul. God’s promises are so true. They are true for me and they are true for you. He promises never to leave us or forsake us. If God never leaves us, then why do we worry about what’s to come. He is right there beside us every single day. I just don’t know why I can’t keep that fact in my mind when the worry comes. Regardless I’m going so show up anyway.

What do you need to show up for this week?

What boulder is blocking your path?

Will you choose to let the fear win or will you keep going anyway?

What’s your personal mantra?

Genuinely Yours,

Amy Z