Throw Off That Shell

           So I’ve been feeling like a hermit crab lately. They shed their old shells and their exoskeleton when they become too big for their current shell. I’ve become too big for my old life. The old Amy was riddled with anxiety. The new Amy has less and less of it. Yet I’m still trying to use coping mechanisms that no longer serve me. Not even coping mechanisms these things are old defense mechanisms and they are just detrimental to me. So my exoskeleton is the bad habits, the old ways of thinking that I’ve been holding on to. One thing I am wanting to get away from is procrastination. I want to start tackling things as they come. God needs to prune me in this area. I know the Lord will work it out of me for his word says,

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Philippians 1:6 NLT

So I know God will not leave me this way and I also want to keep in mind,

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me and the life I know live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 ESV

The old shell is where I’ve been hiding. I’ve outgrown my old life. I feel as though I’m coming out of the old shell. Now I’m exposed to the elements and I wonder will God leave me here alone and vulnerable? It is when we are most vulnerable that God can do the most work in our hearts. I feel like I’ve been hiding from God in my shell of complacency. What a joke. You can’t hide from God. No one can. I’m running in the opposite direction of where God wants me to be. Why? I’m scared that I can’t fit the role the Lord has been putting on my heart. I fully believe I’m going to be in full-time ministry one day. I believe that I’ll be on stage ministering to thousands. I believe I’ll be like the hero ladies of faith in our time, Joyce Meyer, Beth Moore, Lysa Terkeurst and Christine Caine who reach out to many with their ministries. This calling that God’s placed on my life is far bigger, far more reaching than I can even imagine. Think of the biggest thing God could do for your life and then dream bigger. The word says that he will do abundantly exceedingly more than we can imagine. I believe it. Yet still I question. Can God really use me in such a big way? Why would he even want to? Why doesn’t he just leave me where he found me? Broken hearted. Having low self-worth. Not believing I served a purpose in this world. Of course God wouldn’t leave me where he found me for his word says he will bind up the broken-hearted. He loves me and he can use me for his kingdom and his glory. I just pray that I believe it. I feel too small for such a huge task. And I am too small if I go in my own strength. But I’m not going in my own strength. I’m going in God’s strength with him before me, behind me and beside me. How about you dear reader? Do you struggle with this? What has God put on your heart? In what way is he trying to use you? Are you running and hiding like me? If you are I just encourage you to give it all to God. He’ll take it all in and minister to your heart. He will be the lamp upon your feet.

So what are some of these new habits that can usher me into a new shell with the Lord as my protector and shield? Well for one I have to spend time with God and be immersed in his word. I have only been reading my bible sleepily in the morning before I start my day. I want to meditate on his word and think on it. Another thing I have to do is fellowship with fellow believers. This is so key to ushering in God’s encouragement in our lives. Having women of faith who can encourage us and face the storms with us. I also need to sit still and allow God to speak to me. Lastly, I need to let go of the last of these anxious thoughts and lean into him. My sphere of influence is growing. God needs me to shed my old ways and lean on him.

There’s not just a physical battle going on with my new beginning. It’s a spiritual battle as well. I am no longer a baby Christian. Paul called it spiritual milk versus spiritual meat. I can no longer just drink the word in, I need to chew on it and meditate on the word. I can no longer just read the bible as if it’s something to be read leisurely. I need to be an active participant. Don’t get me wrong I have read the bible as an active participant, but I’m just not getting enough time with God. I also need a new prayer life, selfless prayers as opposed to selfish prayers. For example, Lord what do you want me to learn out of this situation? How do you want me to grow? I need accountability partners that set me straight when I go awry. I’ll leave you with this,

Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God-truly righteous and holy. Ephesians 4:21-24

What old ways do you need to shed today?

I’m here.

I’m listening.

Genuinely Yours,

Amy Z